Psychology of intimidating people
Below, Farris, owner of Counseling Recovery in San Jose, Calif., shared five helpful ways. (Because all of us, no matter our differences, just want to feel heard.) 2. If you’re dealing with someone with a strong personality, they might keep pushing if you’re backing down, Farris said.
However, “if you state your opinion firmly, often back down.”The key is to express yourself without attacking the other person.
Students seem to think that I am a mean, no-nonsense kind of guy, even before I open my mouth for the first time.
What is it about certain people that intimidates others?
Mind you, this unseen energy is very useful when dealing with some thug or predator, but most of us prefer not to be seen as intimidating to our everyday acquaintances or the people whom we meet at our friends’ parties.
This unseen energy develops naturally as you continue to hone your skills in martial arts or self-defense.
Morgan states, and I paraphrase, that after a certain amount of time training in the martial way, warriors develop a certain energy that other people can sense.They might be used to getting their way and have strong personalities, she said.“[T]hey may not see that their behavior creates emotional distancing in their relationships — unless someone speaks up.”So how do you speak up? According to Farris, let the person “talk — but not dominate — the conversation, and validate what you hear.” For instance, you might say: “I can see how you feel that way,” or “What I hear you saying is …” If they feel heard, they might relax a bit, she said. It means expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs and wants in a relationship, said psychologist Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph. However, many of us have a hard time being assertive with certain people. Maybe it’s someone you perceive as more powerful or even “better” than you.Either way, one thing is clear: You find yourself being passive and unable to speak your truth. According to psychotherapist Michelle Farris, LMFT, “over time, not speaking up makes you feel like a doormat.” This sinks your self-esteem, sets you up to be a victim and makes you feel powerless, she said.
The more emotional intelligence one has the easier it is to deal with intimidation from others.